Torn between what U “Should” do vs. what U “Want” to do?

Heart vs. Brain

It’s been a torrid challenge to surrender to not only listening and following my heart, but to TRUST it!  And, most importantly ~ myself!  This is the heart verses the brain thing!  There is a constant battle going on in my head between what I think I “Should” do verses what I “Want” to do!  It’s maddening!  Consciously, I want to unconditionally live in my heart and be in alignment with my soul and body’s deepest desires, simply because it feel good.  Not to mention, but I have to—based on my historical past, I have always accomplished my goals and DREAMS, backed by tangible proof. 

Bottom line ~ it has worked over and over again, and has never led me wrong.

Until I start to go for yet another one of my DREAMS!

Once again, the fight is on!  Brain vs. Heart = Should vs. Want

SUBCONSCIOUSLY, is another story, and not a pretty one!  The more we try to get out of our old disempowering “familiar” patterns, the more our subconscious mind tries to stop us.  For example, have you ever met someone you actually said to yourself, he’s not my type, and this will never work?  Yet, cut to a year later and you’re still with him??!!!!  The worst part is that you are still  saying to yourself, “I knew this wasn’t a good idea, ” as you head out the door to his place.

Well, this is our subconscious mind hard at work keeping us in what we have “Known” and perceived as most comfortable and safe, so that we never ever go for the love of our life.  See this would mean possibly risking our heart ending up shattered into pieces, just like the time from adolescence when our teenage sweetheart ripped our heart to shreds.  This is too painful, so we unconsciously avoid it from that point forward….

I Want vs. I ShouldThis is what is really causing the conflict.  What our heart wants verses what we learned and thought long ago that was too painful to bear, so we unconsciously avoid this and say to ourselves, “Oh, I shouldn’t do that again, and I SHOULD do this…”  The battle is on!  The craziest part is that it goes consciously undetected until we are in too deep, and symptoms start to show up like unhappiness, weight gain, stress, depression, addiction, infidelity, etc.

To boot, our subconscious mind is just a library where all the heartbreaking experiences from our past (primarily from childhood) are stored for future reference to keep us in our most ingrained habitual patterns of what we perceive as normal.  This is what I call, “Our uncomfortable comfort-zone.”  The rub is that most of the time what appears to be “normal” is actually the most disempowering and painful patterns of self-sabotage.

But again, we cannot see it until long after the fact!  Our subconscious mind actually dictates 90% of our life by default.  We are set on autopilot, except we never pushed the button because there’s no button to press!

Why is this?  Because the human brain’s fear-based survival mechanism is constantly in play to help keep us out of danger of possibly losing our life.  Unfortunately, this application is out of date, and extremely antiquated because it was designed during the caveman days, when life threatening obstacles like being eaten by a saber tooth tiger was a fact of life.  So our brain doesn’t know the difference between death-fear and fear of getting our heart broken by the love of our life.

It just goes to the easiest safest similar situation and replays it like “Ground Hog Day.”

This goes back to our earliest childhood experience when we initially felt traumatized by heartache.  Our subconscious mind stored this for future reference, so that we would never make this mistake again—yet the scariest thing is that we create this dynamic over and over again, but UNCONSCIOUSLY.  It’s a phenomenon that is hidden from our conscious awareness.  Hence, multiple divorces, which is the “norm” today.


The problem is our brain doesn’t know how to automatically distinguish between what is in our highest best interest and what isn’t, so it ends up a crappy mess.  This is the exact same dynamic that happens when we do what we think we should be doing, as opposed to what we truly want to do because it makes us happy and makes our heart dance.  And, for no other reason.  Do NOT justify your happiness!  You deserve it because it’s your BIRTH-RIGHT!

YOU are worthy for no reason!  Give yourself permission to fall madly passionately in LOVE with yourself….everything is sourced from here.


It’s the only thing that matters and we can keep in the end…..

Learn to override this default mechanism by heightening your levels of conscious awareness, by looking for the old familiar/family patterns.  Look for the symptoms of dissatisfaction, which means you must be willing to get in touch with your truest feelings.  Do not fear them!  They will not kill you ~ they will only feel like they will, but they can’t!  It’s IMPOSSIBLE!

HONOR your feelings!  Allow them to come up and this will actually help them to dissipate and easily disappear…..I promise!  You must continue to practice this to experience new empowering patterns, which is exactly how to form new habits.  But, NOW you are creating habits that serve your highest good!

SELF~Love Steps:

  1. Choose your HEART!
  2. Recognize symptoms.
  3. Resist nothing.
  4. Allow.
  5. Feel your feelings with NO self-judgement or self-criticism.
  6. Nurture yourself.
  7. TRUST yourself and your process.
  8. Do NOT give in to your old self-sabotaging patterns, which only perpetuates them!
  9. Stay steady the course based on your past history, which you will repeat, if you give up!
  10. CHOOSE to LOVE your-SELF above all, and the rest aligns magically!

Let go of old disempowering thoughts and habits; create new EMPOWERING mantras, which source new patterns, which TRANSFORM your life and your world.

The biggest risk is not taking one!


You have nothing to lose, because you are already losing by “Shoulding” yourself to death backed by the past evidence that it hasn’t worked.  Just look backwards!  Doing something new GUARANTEES the only chance to create something you never ever expected based on the definition of insanity, “Doing the same thing expecting a different result.”

Take a risk, either way death is inevitable, so there is never ever anything to lose when it comes to living in your HEART!








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